


A Question of Courtship

by Lumelle



Series: She-Elves and Dwarrowdams and Hobbit Lasses, Oh My [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Agender Character, Agender Thorin Oakenshield, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F, Female Bilbo, Female Fíli, Female Kíli, Female Ori, Femslash February, Humor, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-18 23:45:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5947810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lumelle/pseuds/Lumelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As though it's not enough for Bilbo to consider that she is actually not the only female member of the Company, then she finds out that Thorin hasn't been clear enough about certain things to Fíli and Kíli. Clearly it's up to Bilbo to get everything cleared up before there are broken hearts or worse.</p><p>Things don't go exactly as Bilbo envisioned, but she rather feels like she wins in the end, anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Question of Courtship

**Author's Note:**

> It's Femslash February, and obviously I needed to do something for it!
> 
>  **Please note** that this fic involves accidental misgendering, as well as a character being treated as agender for cultural reasons. Please read accordingly.

When Bilbo heard the hurried footsteps behind her door, she was very tempted not to answer.

Of course, however much she had been looking forward to some quality time with a book and her own company, she knew it would have been a bad idea not to react. Enough people knew of her plan that trying to pretend she was not in her room would probably have lead to a bunch of worried dwarves trying to break down her door to find out what had happened to her. After all, they seemed to have a hard time understanding such difficult concepts as the occasional need of privacy, or peace and quiet, for that matter.

Honestly, it was a wonder she'd managed to keep them thinking she was a male hobbit all the way until a very baffled Óin had been bandaging a gash on her shoulder and found more under her shirt than he'd expected. It wasn't like they had any problem prying into other people's business.

"Come in," she called out, setting her book aside. She'd only just gotten it from the incoming trade caravan, but it didn't look like she could get to reading it very soon.

As predicted, the door burst open, admitting two very enthusiastic young dwarves. "Bilbo!" they crowed in unison. "Look what we got!"

"What is it?" Bilbo lifted her eyebrows as she got up from her seat, walking closer. "Is that… fabric?"

"Yup!" Fíli beamed, shifting the pile of neatly folded lengths of fabric in his arms. "Really nice kinds, too! It all came on the new caravan from Iron Hills, Dori asked for it especially."

"There were also a couple of dressmakers that he hired immediately to help him," Kíli chuckled, dropping his own pile on the couch. "He said he'll start from Thorin and then anyone in the Company who wants dresses, since it's unfair to make them wait any longer and it's easier to get trousers and tunics without exact measurements. So, you should pick the fabrics you like, and go see him to talk about what kind of dresses you want!"

"You're sure that wouldn't be too much trouble?" She had to admit the idea was quite tempting. Not that she minded trousers, had spent a good portion of her life driving the more proper inhabitants of Hobbiton to scandalised vapours by her reluctance to wear skirts when rambling about, but she had to admit she'd gotten quite enough of her limited wardrobe. And, well, the fabrics did look really nice and pretty.

"Not at all! Dori's been moaning about wanting to get to work for a while now, and we do all need nice clothes for Thorin's official coronation." Fíli grinned. "Just don't steal the pretty deep green velvet, I think Kíli just might cut off your fingers."

"You're one to speak," Kíli laughed. "The moment you saw that dark blue I thought you'd take a blade to Dori's throat if he didn't promise to save it for your dress!"

"Wait, what?" Bilbo frowned. Surely she had misunderstood somehow. "You're getting dresses as well?"

"Well, yeah." Fíli added his pile of fabric to those Kíli had brought over. "Sure, they're not the most practical outfit, but if there's ever a time where it's more important to be pretty than practical, I'd say the coronation ceremony would be it."

"Don't forget the feast afterwards," Kíli added. "Dresses might be less than sensible for riding and running about, but they're definitely the best choice for dancing!"

"But… dresses are for lasses." Unless dwarves disagreed on that account for some reason.

"Well, of course they are." Kíli snorted.

"But you're not lasses." She was quite certain on this point. She'd been paying attention, thank you, and while she could not claim to be the best person around to tell the difference between male and female dwarves, at least she knew what words meant.

She was pretty sure, anyway.

Fíli and Kíli glanced at each other, than at Bilbo. "Of course we are." Fíli tilted his head. "Fíli and Kíli, daughters of Dís."

"Oh, don't even try that with me!" Bilbo lifted a finger as though she had been scolding naughty children. "We've been on a long journey together, and the whole time you've been called princes, sister-sons, and brothers. Those are not the words for lasses!"

"All dwarves use male words on the road, though." Kíli shrugged, as though this hadn't been noteworthy at all. "Less chance of running into trouble that way, other races can be pretty weird about dams sometimes. But now we're in the mountain, so it's fine for us to use the proper words."

"You really didn't know?" Fíli looked somewhere between confused and concerned. "I mean, I suppose it's kind of understandable because of the words and all, but you didn't even wonder why there weren't any apparently female dwarves in the Company?"

"How was I to know? For all I knew, female dwarves don't leave the mountains at all! You dwarves and your secrets, how's anyone outside supposed to make sense of you?" Bilbo shook her head. "You're actually lasses? You're not just having me on?"

"Yeah, we are, really and truly. Well," Kíli nudged his brother — er, her sister? — and grinned, "for now we both are, anyway."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Oh, sweet Green Lady, she could not take much more dwarven nonsense. "Do you think that's likely to change?"

"Well, it will at some point." This time it was Fíli who shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm Thorin's heir, after all, so I'll be king some day. And the king's supposed to represent all dwarves, so they're not considered male or female at all. So while Kíli's probably a dwarrowdam for good, I'll only be one until the day I take the throne."

"Now what did I say about dwarves and secrets?" Honestly, she was going to get such a headache just thinking about this. "Wait. Does that mean Thorin isn't either one?"

"Yup!" Kíli grinned. "We still call them aunt, of course, or uncle when we're not in the mountain, because we've got to call them something and Westron is really bad about having words that aren't one or the other. In Khuzdul we don't make those differences, it's so much easier. Mom just calls them sibling since that at least isn't marked. Far as we know, though, Thorin used to be a princess as well until their father disappeared and they had to take lead."

"Right." Bilbo shook her head. "And how many others in the Company are actually female and I just didn't know?"

"Well, Ori, obviously." Though how that was supposed to be obvious, Bilbo had no idea. "And Bofur and Glóin. Not others, though, I don't think?" Fíli glanced at Kíli, who shook her head. "Right, that's about it."

"But Glóin has a wife!" That much, at least, Bilbo had heard, and didn't think could be attributed to mere dwarven secretiveness. "Never mind that, they have a son! How is that supposed to work?"

"The usual way, I presume?" Kíli blinked. "I mean, I was too young to remember much when Gimli was born, but even I have heard Glóin's stories of what it was like when Kulta was pregnant with him."

"So… Gimli isn't Glóin's son, then? I mean, not in the practical sense."

"What do you mean?" Fíli frowned. "Glóin's wife birthed him, of course he's Glóin's son."

Bilbo sighed. "Don't tell me you don't know how babes come about."

"Oh, we know the workings of it well enough, it's just that we dwarves aren't so fussy about the particulars." Fíli shrugged. "If a couple like Glóin and Kulta want a child, seems downright silly to say they can't just because neither of them can plant the seed. Sure, they might require some outside help, but as long as everyone involved agrees, what's the harm in that?"

"It's fortunate, too." Kíli smirked. "I mean, Fíli's supposed to find her own heir from somewhere, and somehow I don't think the dwarf she's got her eye on is going to be much help in that department."

"Hey, watch it!" This was apparently a sensitive subject somehow, as it lead to the sisters starting to shove at each other like little fauntlings.

Bilbo ignored their little scuffle in favour of fiddling with the various fabrics, thinking about the conversation. Everything about it seemed very strange to her hobbit sensibilities, yet also utterly practical in a way. Which was, really, the perfect description for many aspects of dwarven culture. Well. She supposed she didn't have to understand it all, as long as she was aware enough of such things that she wouldn't insult anyone needlessly.

Come to think of it, she should probably ask someone like Balin for advice as to how she should address people if she wasn't aware of their gender, or indeed figure out what they might prefer to be called. Clearly she wasn't very skilled in the fine art of dwarven gender distinction just yet. And, well, while she would have trusted Fíli and Kíli with her life without a moment's hesitation, she wasn't quite as confident that they wouldn't have taken the opportunity to tease her by giving her false information on such a matter. For people with a presumably royal upbringing, they did sometimes remind Bilbo of her most mischievous young Took cousins.

For a moment she wondered how the two would behave themselves in proper party dresses. Though then, knowing dwarves, formal dresses probably involved weaponry as a matter of basic etiquette. She'd probably have to ask Dori about it, if only to make sure that the only sharp thing that was part of her own party outfit would be her tongue.

And if someone thought that wasn't proper in a dwarven celebration, well, propriety was something Bilbo had left behind along with her handkerchiefs when she had run off with a bunch of dwarves, anyway.

*

"Is the dress to your liking?" Dori was speaking around a few pins held tightly in his mouth, fussing about Bilbo as he adjusted this bit or tucked in that. "I did try to follow the examples in your sketches, but I have to say this design isn't very familiar to me."

"Oh, it's quite wonderful, Dori. Thank you so much." The dress was a fancy thing, and not too strange on a hobbit lass, for all that the dwarven influences showed up here and there. The fabric was thicker than Bilbo was used to, in a deep burgundy colour that she rather suspected would have been considered too strong a shade for an unmarried lass back in the Shire, but here her dwarven friends had all complimented her on her excellent choice of colour so she supposed it wouldn't be cause for scandal in the mountain. Thorin had even suggested getting her fine leather boots in a complimenting shade, but that had been where Bilbo drew the line. She might have been happy to wear the heavy dwarven fabrics, in both her new party dress and the simpler pieces that Dori's assistants had whipped up for her to wear on a daily basis, but she would put on shoes for the sake of decoration the day her dwarven friends shaved their faces. This had apparently made her point, as it was the last she heard of any kind of footwear being offered to her.

The dress was just fine, though. It was more than fine, really, it was beautiful, showing off the plump curves she was working hard to regain after far too long spent on road rations. It was well constructed, too, a clear piece of evidence that dwarven craftsmanship was not limited to fire and forges. Bilbo almost felt like twirling about like a young lass just to see her skirts billowing out.

"There's no need to thank me." Dori shook his head. "It's a joy to properly work my craft after so long on the road, and with such fine materials, too! Besides, I couldn't show my face at the party if I allowed any of my friends to take part without proper outfits."

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot of satisfied customers."

"One could say that." Dori snorted. "Kíli actually asked me to make something for a friend of hers. An elf, if you can believe that! I told her I'd make the elf something if I can find the time, though I cannot promise to know how to flatter such a build, or indeed whether Thorin will even allow her into the party."

"Well, only one way to find out, I suppose." Bilbo lifted her arms as Dori gave the indication. "You don't seem to have a problem with it."

"Hardly my concern where Kíli thinks she finds love. I'm not so convinced it won't all end in tears, but for the time being, she seems happy enough. I'm far more concerned about Fíli's attentions, to be honest."

"What do you mean?" Though Bilbo had her own suspicions as to what Dori was getting at. She'd certainly caught enough furtive glances and private giggles.

"I think we both know the answer." Dori glanced towards the door to his working room. When Bilbo had arrived, Ori had been in the front room reading some old tome she had found in what remained of the royal library. "That's not a problem either, not if the interest is genuine. I know Ori likes her well enough, and I do want my sister to be happy. If she's getting her heart toyed with, though, that I cannot accept quite so easily."

"Do you think that might be the case?" Bilbo frowned. That didn't sound like Fíli at all. The princesses could be mischievous, yes, but Bilbo had never known them to be cruel.

"I don't like to think so, no. The Fíli I have seen on the journey is a better dwarf than that. However, even though they're flirting openly enough for even me to see it, Ori has told me that Fíli has made no mention whatsoever of anything more serious." Dori shook his head grimly as he adjusted a pin on the side seam of Bilbo's dress. "Which wouldn't be a problem if it indeed were just harmless flirting, but I know my little sister well enough to know she's well on her way to being in love. If Fíli carries on like this for much longer and then turns away, I do fear Ori's heart is going to be shattered beyond repair."

"I really don't believe Fíli would do that, but I see your concern." Bilbo considered the matter. "Would you like me to speak with Fíli, see what her intentions are? The princesses seem to trust me well enough, I might get some answers out of her. I don't think there's anything worse at play here than perhaps thoughtlessness; at least I can find out how serious Fíli is about all this."

"If you could, I would greatly appreciate it." Dori nodded. "I doubt I would get many more royal commissions if I accidentally broke the crown princess."

And really, it was a good thing she was used to dwarves by now, or she might have become concerned. "My friend," Bilbo said, fighting against a smile because really this was no laughing matter, "I rather believe that if you were ever to break Fíli, it would be entirely on purpose."

Dori didn't bother to even try to deny her point, though he did smirk a bit around his pins.

*

"Why are you making Ori sad?"

The speed at which Fíli spun around, staring at Bilbo in shock, almost startled Bilbo. Though then, it wasn't all that surprising, really, considering Bilbo's less than tactful conversation opener. Well, at least she'd gotten Fíli's attention. "W-what?"

"I think you heard what I said." Bilbo sighed, setting down her pen. She probably would not be doing any more writing before this conversation was over, but then, she was the one who had chosen to start the conversation as soon as Fíli walked into the room. After all, they were rarely together in private. "I don't think you're doing it on purpose, but I was talking to Dori, and apparently he's worried because Ori is unsure of your intentions regarding her."

"I never meant for that to happen." Fíli looked anguished enough that Bilbo rather believed her on that count. "I would never hurt Ori on purpose!"

"That's rather what I thought." Bilbo shook her head. "However, she is unsure of what you want from her. If you don't have serious intentions, it might be for the best to let her know now before things get too serious."

"It's not just about me, though." Fíli ran a hand through her hair. "It's — I'd happily court Ori by all the rules, be proper enough to even make Dori happy. It's just…"

"Just what?" Bilbo gentled her tone. "Because if you are worried about Ori, don't. According to Dori she is very fond of you, and Dori himself didn't seem to disapprove as long as you stop toying with her. And if Dori approves, I don't think Nori will be giving you any trouble."

"It's not any of them. It's, well. It's Aunt Thorin."

"What about Thorin?" Bilbo frowned. "I don't think they would disapprove. Ori's one of the Company, you could hardly hope for better."

"Except lately Aunt has been making a lot of mentions about how Kíli and I might meet someone at the coronation celebrations, with nobles from Iron Hills coming over and everything." Fíli crossed her arms across her chest, looking defiant. "I want Ori, I know that. I don't want anyone else, no matter how noble or proper they might be. But if Thorin is hoping for me to make a political match, then I'm not sure how that wish might be received."

"Is that normal, then?" Bilbo's frown deepened. "Political matches and all that?"

"Not arranged ones, if that's what you mean. That's quite against tradition. According to our beliefs, every dwarf has one love in their life, though not all of us will pursue that love. To deny anyone that chance would be against Mahal's will. That doesn't mean Aunt might not wish that my One could also be an advantageous match."

"But if you love Ori, shouldn't that be the end of it?" Hadn't Fíli just mentioned such things should not be denied?

"It should. But I'm not sure how to convince Thorin of it." Fíli's expression turned very determined. "I will not give up on that, I will have Ori. But I didn't want to speak to her before I could be sure nobody would interfere. Even if the end result is the same, I didn't wish to give her that uncertainty."

"Well, at the moment your waiting for an answer is what's making her uncertain instead." Bilbo stood up from her seat. "That's it. Go get your sister, I'm taking care of this today."

"What do you mean?" Fíli looked confused, now. "How are you going to take care of this?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Bilbo smiled, smoothing down the skirts of her dress. If she recalled correctly, Thorin should be done with their current meeting very soon. "I'm going to speak with Thorin to put some sense into this."

She didn't really think it was going to be that difficult in the end, but even if it had turned out that way somehow, she was definitely going to put an end to this. If not for Ori's sake, then for the smile that lit up Fíli's face just now.

And, well, it was always a noble cause to fight for love, wasn't it?

*

"Girls, I have something very important to talk to you about." Thorin looked extremely serious, standing in front of Fíli and Kíli, who had both been instructed to sit down. "Bilbo told me that there has been some… unclear matters that I should address."

"Which is?" Kíli frowned. "Fíli didn't tell me anything, just that Bilbo told us to come here."

"It's about your choice of partners." Thorin sighed. "Now, I'll admit my mistake here. I know I have been speaking to you about finding potential partners at the coronation celebrations. However, I seem to have failed to make it clear that this is by no means a way of saying you need to find your partner there."

"You sure about that?" Fíli lifted her eyebrows. "Because you've sounded pretty enthusiastic about it."

"Only because I want you to be happy, not for any other reason." Thorin clasped their hands behind their back. "I would never try to control such things. The choice of a partner, or whether you seek one at all, is yours and yours alone. I was trying to give helpful advice, but it seems this came across as an order. I promise, that was never my intention."

"And what if you don't approve of whoever we choose?" Kíli seemed wary, now. "Are you going to change your mind then?"

"All I want is for you to be happy, in whatever form you find that happiness." Thorin shook their head. "I brought you into much danger on our journey, and risked you in ways I never should have. At times, I even forgot the reason I did so — so that Fíli would have a stable throne to inherit, and you and other young ones would have a safe and prosperous kingdom to live your lives in. Now that we have claimed our prize, I don't think I have the right to ask anything more of you."

"Do you give your word for that?" Fíli reached for her sister's hand, as tense as Kíli was. "Do you swear you will not interfere?"

"I swear it on my braids and my throne." Thorin nodded gravely. "Bilbo can stand as our witness. I may give you advice, as is my duty as your elder, but I swear I will never interfere in your choice of partner, either of yours."

"Great!" All of a sudden the tension was gone, and Fíli was beaming brightly, tugging at Kíli's hand as she stood up. "Come on, let's go find Tauriel!"

"Let's!" Kíli bounced up to her feet as well, rushing toward the door with Fíli. "Thanks, Bilbo!" she shouted over her shoulder before they both ran out of the room.

Bilbo and Thorin both stared after the two princesses for a moment. Then, Thorin turned to look at Bilbo. "Tauriel?"

"That's — that's the name of the elf who healed Kíli in Laketown, I believe." Bilbo shook her head. "I heard Bofur mention Kíli looked soft on her, but I never imagined…"

"Never imagined what? That Fíli and Kíli would put together some devious scheme to trick a promise out of me that I would not intervene without knowing what the actual issue would be?"

"Well, yes. I mean, no offence to either of their wits, but if nothing else I never thought Fíli would be such an excellent actor."

"It rather surprises me, too." Thorin lifted their eyebrows. Really, they were looking rather remarkably calm considering the situation. "Unless, of course, you were in on the plan all along, in which case she wouldn't have needed to fool you."

"Oh, please." Bilbo snorted. "When I found out Fíli was afraid you would disapprove of her choice, I marched straight up to you and told you to put an end to such nonsense. Do you really think I wouldn't have done the same for Kíli?"

"I suppose you would have." Thorin shook their head. "I guess they think they are so very clever now, huh."

"No doubt." Bilbo groaned. "Oh, goodness, I wonder if Dori was in on this as well. He was the one who first told me something might be going on with Fíli, and I rather doubt Fíli would have mistreated Ori badly just in case Dori might mention something to me."

"Oh, I have no doubt. Nori isn't the only crafty one in the family." Thorin sighed. "I will scold them for involving you, though. I can't truly blame them for doubting me, but it's not right for them to cause you to worry so."

"Ah. It's all right, really. After all, everyone's happy in the end, right? Assuming you're not about to take back your word, that is." Which was another reason the princesses should have been direct from the start, really. Thorin was not a cruel creature to Bilbo's knowledge, not when she was in her right mind anyway, but she was proud without a doubt, and might well have protested at getting tricked so.

"I will not, don't worry. I may not trust this elf any more than I do any other of her kind, but I meant what I said, it's not my place to dictate another's heart. Trying to do so would only cause Kíli to resent me, and I have lost too many people already to knowingly risk driving her away. Besides…" Thorin trailed off. "No, never mind that."

"Never mind what?" Bilbo frowned. "Thorin, are you hiding something from me again?"

"Hiding? I'm not hiding anything." Right. And Bilbo was a tree-legged troll. She certainly would have needed a head of stone to believe that.

"You were about to say something just now." Bilbo set her hands on her hips. "Out with it, Thorin Oakenshield."

"Well." Thorin took on much the same expression as they sometimes did right before charging into battle, steely resolve and resignation. "I was about to say, I do believe it's possible for a dwarf to love one of another race."

"Oh? And why is that?" Bilbo's heart was doing strange things now, like trying to beat its way right out of her chest. Well, that just wasn't proper at all.

Thorin's eyes locked with hers, deep blue and sincere. "Because I know such love for myself."

"Really, now." No, she was not going to blush, wasn't going to read anything whatsoever into that. If Thorin wanted her to react, well, they could at least speak plainly. "Well, I'm sure Bard will be flattered by your interest."

"What?" Thorin blinked. "Why would you think I have any interest in him?"

"Well, he seems the type, doesn't he? Nice long hair, a moustache, regal bearing and all that. I highly doubt you would have your eye on Thranduil, after all. Though then, he does seem to inspire a lot of —"

"Do not even jest about that!" Thorin seemed to rear up in protest, then deflated slightly. "Ah. I… I find myself rather attracted to you?"

"Do you, now?" Bilbo tilted her head to the side. "Even though I have no beard and little skill with weapons or crafts?"

"Even so." Thorin stepped closer, now, all tall and broad and serious. "You may be lacking in such qualities, but in courage and loyalty I've never seen your equal."

"Loyalty?" Broad hands took her arms in a gentle hold, and Bilbo let herself be drawn closer. "Even if I stole your Arkenstone?"

"Which you did to save me from my madness." Thorin was terribly close now, warm and sturdy against Bilbo's own softer body. "What is a beard against such loyalty, or strong arms against such bravery?"

"Careful now, I'll soon think you're going soft on me." Bilbo could tell her voice was getting awfully quiet now, the words almost stuck in her throat. "I almost feel like I should enquire about your intentions, lest I be left as uncertain as poor Ori has been." Assuming, of course, that the part about Ori's fears hadn't been another part of the deception, as Bilbo was starting to suspect.

"My intention is to make you happy, in whatever capacity that may be." Thorin's face was awfully close, now. "Anything you want, anything you need, it will be yours if only it is in my power."

"And if I wanted you?" Such an improper thing to say, but then, she had not truly worried about propriety in a long while.

"Then I would make you my lover and my consort and my One for all the world to see, if only you would allow me."

"Is that so." Bilbo gave in to an impish impulse, leaning in to press a soft kiss to Thorin's throat. A shiver ran through the king's body, clear enough for Bilbo to feel. "In that case, I have a suggestion regarding that."

"And what would that be?" Thorin's arms had slid around Bilbo, still holding her close.

"Let's not tell anyone until we make this public." Because really, it wasn't like she was going to refuse such an offer. "Otherwise I might have insisted the girls ought to know first of all, but I think after this little trick, they don't deserve any advance warning."

"You know, I think I rather agree." There was a hint of mischief to Thorin's smile that made Bilbo suspect Fíli and Kíli were not as different from their aunt as it might have seemed at first. They must have gotten their tricks from somewhere, after all. "If we are in agreement, then, would you be opposed to my making a public announcement of it during the coronation festivities?"

"Moving fast, are we? It's only a few days away, now."

"I know my mind, have known it for a while. If you have no doubts, I don't see any reason to hesitate."

"I think I'm rather happy with this plan." Bilbo chuckled. "After all, you'll need a distraction, seeing how Kíli will probably be bringing her elf along to the party."

This was clearly too much for Thorin to hear, considering they chose to silence Bilbo before she could say anything more horrifying. Given that they chose to do so with a kiss, Bilbo wasn't going to protest overly much.

Good thing she had a very pretty dress made for the party, as she hoped there was going to be a lot of dancing with a handsome dwarf in store for her.


End file.
